Getting off that shower floor and putting my emotions on paper is my 2nd challenge.
Yes I have the “c” word…
Can you see it on my head, Can you feel it in my nerves?
Can you sense it in my anger, can you hear it in my verbs?
And while I thought the “c” word would get me disturbed.
It has allowed this little voice of mine to be heard.
Fight yourself, Find yourself is what I’ve been telling myself.
Because battling your own soul is harder than fighting for your health.
It’s so easy to let yourself go and just let life happen on its own.
But once you understand who are you, you can take control.
I keep asking myself, Why Me? What did I do to deserve this?
Was I living too happily and free? Was I too close to success?
Do you ever feel like every time you’re happy something comes crushing you down?
Did you ever understand why bad people are saved while the good people drown?
This year has been one hell of a story for me.
I’ve been betrayed & stabbed in the back like a horror movie
I’ve been lied to… I’ve been manipulated
Resulting in an outcome far from what I anticipated
While this could have ruined me it only made me stronger.
Like a broken heart, the c-word can heal… it just takes longer.
And that’s why the question “why” doesn’t deserve an answer.
Because the reasons don’t bring you anywhere any faster.
So this why I rather focus on seeing the good in the bad.
I’ve learnt to embrace what I have and not miss what I had.
And as the clock slows down making every tick sound cruel.
I now see my roadblock as a pit stop, my chance to refuel.
I sit back and watch the simplest things blow me away
I’ve learnt to deal with things in life, one at a time… day by day.
I’ve broken down barriers that were man built by men.
And thanks to my illness, I’ve simply learnt to love again.
Its too easy to make 10% of what happens to you in life a disaster.
Because 90% is how you react to it, and I choose to in laughter.
And while many with the c-word still seek for an answer
I prefer to live my life to its fullest by simply saying
I have cancer.
Please support my challenge by donating to #TeamNalie at www.runforthecure.com/goto/teamnalie